Share | Practicing Buddhism helps me resolve the grievances I have with my family!

Thank you, Namo Shakyamuni Buddha

Thank you, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva Mahasattva, for your great compassion and great inspiration to save the suffering and the distressed

Thank you to all the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and the Dragon and Heavenly Guardians

Thank you, Master Lu Junhong

 

Today I would like to share with you my experience of how I resolved the grievances with my family after learning Buddhism, and how my family members went from opposing me to supporting me in learning Buddhism. If there is anything inappropriate in today’s sharing, please forgive me with compassion, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva and the Dharma protectors.

I encountered Guan Yin Method in 2014 and started to learn to chant sutras in January 2015. After chanting sutras, I felt that I didn’t have enough time. I got up at 5:00 every morning to chant sutras. I didn’t have time to talk to my husband. I felt that it was a waste of time when he asked me to go out for dinner. Suddenly one day my husband said to me, “Are you crazy from studying Buddhism?” I realized that I had made him dissatisfied with Buddhism. At that time, I wanted to come to Guan Yin Hall to work, but he didn’t agree. I had to secretly work without telling him, chanting sutras when he was not at home, and chanting the Jiejie Mantra 49 times and the Heart Sutra 7 times for him every day.

I listened to many of Master’s recordings and understood that we cannot let our family members commit verbal karma when we study Buddhism, otherwise we will also have karma. Many people told Master that their family members opposed their study of Buddhism. Master always said that you must first become a Bodhisattva yourself before your family members will believe. If your family members do not agree, it is our own karma. In order to get my husband to support me, I worked hard to change myself. In the past, we often quarreled over trivial matters such as who takes out the garbage, who washes the dishes, and who cleans the toilet. After coming to the Buddhist temple, I found that everyone was rushing to do these things. We still quarreled over this, which was really stupid. So I changed myself, did everything at home, and stopped complaining. One day, my husband found my volunteer uniform and asked me what those clothes were for. I had to tell him the truth. He did not say anything more. I knew that he tacitly agreed that I was a volunteer. Thank you, Bodhisattva!

Around 2018, my husband began to recognize my Buddhist practice and chanting. One time, my husband came back from dinner with his friends and told me that his friends said that Guan Yin Method was not righteous. I asked him, “Look, I have been practicing for so many years. Do you think I am evil or righteous?” He said yes.

Then one day, I suddenly found the toilet very clean, and asked him about it. He said that he had also learned how to clean toilets when he was in the army, and he washed his own bowl after meals. One day, he even boiled a basin of water for foot bathing and brought it to me, which surprised me. I knew that my change touched him.

 

As soon as I learned Guan Yin Method in 2015, I wanted to set up a Buddhist altar. I asked him many times and asked him three times, but he said no. Master said that setting up a Buddhist altar requires good fortune. I thought that my good fortune must not be enough, so I told myself to continue to work hard to change myself, eliminate karma well, and not have any complaints. Until the epidemic, I had a dream. I dreamed that a friend of my husband and I said to us, “It’s windy and rainy outside, you take this Guanyin Bodhisattva tablet with you.” I told my husband about this dream, but I still wanted to set up a Buddhist altar. I prayed to the Bodhisattva in the Buddhist hall and told him again. I didn’t expect that he agreed. I jumped for joy! I told him that I don’t know how to send emails, so he asked me to write a letter to the group practice to apply for setting up a Buddhist altar. Through the preparations for setting up the Buddhist altar, my husband came into contact with the volunteers, and he said to me, “Your Buddhist hall is very good, different from other places.” I was very grateful on the day of setting up the Buddhist altar. The brothers and sisters have been silently helping me. Their solemnity touched my husband. He saw that there was a section in the invitation that asked him to make a wish based on his own situation, so he wondered how he should make a wish? In the end, he made a wish to burn incense every day. From the day he set up the altar until today, he has insisted on burning incense every day, and now he has also started to recite the Great Compassion Mantra. Thank you for the group practice, thank you for the brothers and sisters!

After the altar was set up, my mother-in-law’s sister came home and kept pointing at the altar and saying, “Look, this altar is different from the others. The landscape painting is so majestic.” I knew that he recognized the Guan Yin Method from the bottom of his heart. Thank you, Guan Yin Bodhisattva!

Now my husband listens to the Buddhist Morning Train every day after he burns incense. I am really grateful for the Buddhist Morning Train. There are many truths in it. He didn’t listen to me, but he changed after hearing it in the morning train. One day he heard Master say that if a person swears, the underworld will record it, and asked me: So strict! Can’t I just talk about it? I said that if you say it, you will sow the seeds and suffer the consequences. Since then, I have not heard him swear. In the past, he didn’t agree with me being a volunteer on duty. Now if there is something at home, I say I will take a leave and not go on duty. He will say that you should still go on duty. I can’t hinder you from doing good deeds, otherwise you will fall even if you walk on a flat road.

Sometimes when I say something about other people’s right and wrong, he reminds me: You are a full-time practitioner, I am a part-time practitioner, you are very hardworking, so you should not commit verbal karma, otherwise your practice will be in vain. Once we talked about the right and wrong of a friend, and after just two or three sentences, we both stopped at the same time and asked why we should commit verbal karma? I really felt that at that moment our hearts were together, we had already walked on the Buddhist path, and we would not comment on other people’s affairs. I feel that after learning Buddhism, we have lived a real married life, considering each other in everything, and often thanking each other. Thinking about the past few decades, we lived in a noisy quarrel over a little thing, you blamed me, I blamed you, it felt really ridiculous.

Learning Buddhism also resolved the grievances between me and my mother-in-law and cured my depression. After we got married, we lived with my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law liked to use banana water (Thinner) to wash the kitchen and washing powder to wash dishes. No matter how I tried to stop her, she would throw away and buy new ones. Such small things accumulated into conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and we always quarreled. In the end, we lived separately, but I got depression. I couldn’t sleep well and always had to see a doctor. At that time, I didn’t learn Buddhism. There were many things in my mind that I couldn’t understand. I thought it was someone else’s fault, and I would cry when it was mentioned.

After I encountered the Guan Yin Method and listened to the Plain Language Buddhism, I realized why a small matter could cause so many conflicts. It was because of the bad karma from past lives. If this person makes you so angry today, maybe you also made him so angry in your past life. I started to train myself. In the past, every time my mother-in-law scolded me, she would say that I was married to her and I must listen to her, and I would jump up. After I learned Buddhism, I prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to protect me. When my mother-in-law scolded me, I would not get angry. It was very difficult at first, but I succeeded after trying a few times. If she scolded me, it was her realm. I did not accept it, and my heart became bigger.

Later, I came to the temple and found that many fellow practitioners were very caring towards the elderly. I cried when I saw this. I thought of my own elderly family, and wondered why I shouldn’t be good to them. I began to repent, I repented to the Bodhisattva, and apologized to her in person. She cried and I cried too. I felt that we had resolved a lot. In the past, when my mother-in-law scolded people, I would run away. After learning Buddhism, when I heard her scolding people like this, even if she scolded me, I felt that she must be very uncomfortable and pitiful. After learning Buddhism, I felt that my heart had changed. Even if others have not changed, it’s good as long as my heart has changed.

My mother-in-law lives alone now. Whenever I am in Singapore, I try to bring her breakfast every day. I said it is not because she needs me, but I feel that I will feel more and more comfortable if I treat her well. She has Alzheimer’s disease now, and she keeps repeating herself. Every time she asks me, I treat it as the first time. I am very grateful because I have such patience because I learned Buddhism. In fact, our children see everything we say and do as parents, so we should do better. I remember once I told my youngest daughter that we should eat cleanly, so that when we are old, we will have food to eat every day like grandma. But my daughter said that grandma had food to eat because her son married a good wife.

While on duty at the Guanyin Hall, I learned a lot from my fellow practitioners. I saw that many of the fellow practitioners at the Guanyin Hall were very capable and powerful, but I knew nothing myself. I regarded every fellow practitioner as my teacher and learned from them. Volunteering at the Guanyin Hall for so many years has helped me eliminate a lot of karma. I can feel that walking on the way to the Guanyin Hall is very light. I cherish coming to the Guanyin Hall because I can only come once a week. So when I go to see my mother-in-law, I also regard it as volunteering at the Guanyin Hall, so that I can walk lightly every day when I take her out for dinner.

Master said that learning Buddhism is to make us healthy, have a good family, and be good to everyone. I listened to it. How can we be good? We must act like Bodhisattvas. If there are obstacles in our learning Buddhism, it is our own karma. This is my experience and understanding of learning Buddhism. If there is something inappropriate in my sharing, please forgive me with compassion, Guanyin Bodhisattva and the Dharma Protectors. Thank you for listening.